Internet & Health Information | Did you get your info at WrongDiagnosis.com?
the internet is used for med info for four main reasons. Fifty percent of internet users search for med info.
Doctor Shopping | It isn’t EBay
AARP Magazine named Charlottesville to be one of the top ten healthiest cities to live. I believe it because there are 10 billion healthcare providers here! C’ville ranks 4th among US metropolitan areas in the number of doctors per capita. So if you are a shopper, C’ville is like northern Virginia’s Tysons Galleria [...]
Internet Ratings of Doctors | It is Like Road Rage
Critics are artists who never succeeded or have no talent.
Ever hear that notion before? I can’t believe I’m defending Paula Abdul, but she knows more than Simon Cowell on American Idol. She performed for years and knows what it takes to be a performer. Simon– well, he just criticizes. But in his defense, [...]
Passive Aggressive People…Their Bark is Worse Than Their Bite
Drive-thru beer stores in Ohio always fascinated me. You should not drink and drive, but you could buy beer and drive. Talk about getting a beer gut–you didn’t have to expend any energy to buy a case of beer.
Banks have drive-thrus as well, and I use them quite often. But while at a [...]
Are There Magic Pills?
Magic tricks drive me nuts. How do they do it? One of my friends used to be a magician, and he won’t share any of his magic trick secrets. He taunts me: “No, I won’t tell you how they’re done. But they’re incredibly easy…if not stupid.”
If they’re that stupid, why can’t I figure [...]
Crying Game…it isn’t a game.
“Cry me a river, cry me a river, I cried a river over youuuuuuuuuuu!” Go, Barbra Streisand.
We cry for many reasons: sadness, joy, relief, anger, Clay Aiken finally coming out. (Clay, we love you! Congratulations for being honest and brave!) Weddings are notorious vales of tears, which is why waterproof mascara is essential [...]
Patients Who Won’t Pay Their Bill – But will pay Neiman Marcus & Tiffany’s
Valentine cards, birthday cards, pen-pal letters– few of these come in the mail anymore. I feel like Charlie Brown going to an empty mailbox. Sigh. Actually, that isn’t totally true. I do get bills. And I don’t mean “I’m just a bill, yes I’m only a bill, and I’m sitting here on Capitol [...]
We Are(n’t) Family – Everybody NOT Sing
“We Are Family, I got all my sisters with me. Get up everybody and sing!” Go, Sister Sledge!! (Where are they now?)
Family is something so powerful, so encompassing, so-ah, complicated. The Partridge Family never had major conflict even though the show started on the premise of the death of Mr. Partridge. Wait a [...]
Do Not Touch – Asking strangers some medical questions can be touchy
“Pregnant?” Have you ever asked a person if she was pregnant, only to learn that well… she isn’t! This is when if you had a tail, you would curl it between your legs. What’s even worse is if the person you asked is a man… well, unless it’s the pregnant man on Oprah. [...]
Patients Who Demand Medical Care But Won’t See The Doctor
Invisible patients are like bloggers who think they know everything and get to hide behind an anonymous computer screen to spew out anything. An invisible patient is like someone who wants a free refill on their drink but has already left the restaurant, someone who wants their annual state inspection sticker without bringing [...]
When Doctor Becomes Patient
Do doctors make the worst patients? I’m sitting in my hotel room in Utah with ice on my elevated right knee. Torn ACL, chipped bone on my tibia, and possible torn lateral collateral ligament. Yippee, everybody dance now!
After skiing for four fabulous days, I fell at Snowbird while doing nothing and twisted my knee. [...]
Liar Liar – How insurance has made us liars
George Washington never told a lie.
“Father, I cannot tell a lie. I cut down the cherry tree.”
When Abraham Lincoln was our president, he was called honest Abe. Wow! And this was before TV shows like Leave It to Beaver and The Donna Reed Show where everyone was so ethical. I’m so glad all [...]
Love American Style…Er Doctor Style
Gilligan’s Island was on for only three seasons, but with all the re-runs it seems like it was on for at least 10 years. Even as a kid, I wanted to “vote off” Gilligan as if it were Survivor. They could have been rescued a million times-unlike the folks trapped on Lost-but nooooooooo, Gilligan [...]
Angry Patients – Don’t kill the messenger
Vancouver–my kind of town! Why didn’t Frank Sinatra sing something about this magnificent city? Maybe we can get Canadian crooner Michael Buble to spin a song about this Pacific Northwest gem.
I recently spent eight days in downtown Vancouver, and I only heard a car honk once (unlike NYC where cars honk as if they [...]
The Year 2006: My Thoughts
Barbra Streisand sang, “Memories, like the corners of my mind…” in the movie The Way We Were. And then she puts her hand on Robert Redford’s face to say goodbye. Okay, I’m all verklempt.
Can we talk? What in the world was she thinking? You don’t say goodbye to Robert Redford. You cling, and plead, [...]
Doctor’s Have Feelings Too
The Color Purple is one of my favorite books and movies of all time. In the movie, I was introduced to Whoopi Goldberg and someone you probably have heard of: Oprah Winfrey. Whew! She was a tornado of strength and emotions.
During the announcement of “Best Female Actress in a Supporting Role” at the Oscars, I [...]
Lab Specialist: The techs behind the scence
Don’t you love dogs? If dogs had a thumb, I wonder if they would create a peaceful society. Lassie was a loving Collie. Rin Tin Tin was a beautiful German Shepard (not a killer like Cujo, the rabid St. Bernard). Benji was an amazing mixed breed. Snoopy was an imaginative beagle, but never really looked [...]
Page the doctor: When is it appropriate
Nirvana had a hit song, “Rape Me.” Do you know you can actually download that song so your cell phone rings to that? Hmmm. “Rape me…Hate me…Waste me…” Ooo, he was one angry child!
I first heard of Nirvana when I was skiing in Vermont on a rainy day. I was soaked, cold, and had just [...]
Stressed Out: Rude people put a frown on everyone’s faces
I just went to a wedding, and the maid-of-honor gave some good advice to the new groom. “Henry,” she said, “all of you have to do to remember your anniversary date is forget it once.
“When a man and woman get married,” she continued, “he thinks, ‘I hope she never changes.’ She thinks, ‘I [...]
5 Top Excuses Not To Exercise
Exercise, the word, might sound like profanity to some people. Perhaps the “ex” reminds people of negative words like exile, extortion, or ex-spouse. But then there are good words like expert, excellent, xmas. Hmm.
I try to come up with creative solutions with my patients who balk at exercise. Could the readers of The Hook [...]
Narcissistic Personality Disorder: I love me and Who are you?
How do you read this advertisement? “It’s All About ME”
One of my best friends says this all the time, and so when he showed me this ad, I thought it was all about– him. However, it’s a vacation ad for Maine (ME).
In the show Medium, the psychic heroine keeps getting a message from [...]
The Year 2005: New Years Resolutions for Better Health
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days of auld lang syne?
This song makes no sense, but I sing it every year at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s Eve. Why do I bother to sing it when I’m clueless about its meaning? For all I know, [...]
911: Here is a 411 on when to call
Very few things shock me. Sexual issues, alcohol and drug abuse, psychiatric issues, people’s lifestylesnot shocking. Sticking a bobby pin in an electrical outlet, current politicsshocking. Health insurance and the way people put their health second to it really shocks me.
Is the health insurance industry turning us into robots?
When I worked in DC, [...]
Narcotics: Hurts So Bad. Prescribing Narcotics Has Become a No Win Situation
Cybill Shepherd and Bruce Willis were steamy until they actually “got steamy” on Moonlighting. Why is it when the boy catches the girl, the magic of the show is gone? Look at The Bachelor– proposal, diamond ring, and poof– end of show and the couple– or even worse, gulp, The Bachelorette II. In Moonlighting, Cybill’s [...]
Elder Abuse
Who loves Jane Fonda? Who hates Jane Fonda? Regardless of her politics, she did win an Oscar for Klute, married Ted Turner, and starred with her father (who won an Oscar for On Golden Pond just a few weeks before he died).
Katherine Hepburn won her fourth Oscar in that movie as well, probably for [...]
Follow Your Doctor’s Advice
This is a true story, and I’m not exaggerating. A long time ago, I was at McDonald’s and the customer in front of me said, “I would like a Whopper.” The McDonald’s worker said they didn’t have a Whopper. The customer then said, “Well, how about a Whopper Jr.?” This customer got very angry [...]
The Language of Lover…er Medicine.
When I was an internal medicine resident at Cedars-Sinai/UCLA– the “Hospital of the Stars”– I never met celebrities like Mikhail Gorbachev or Mikhail Baryshnikov, but I sure met a lot of other Russians. Cedars-Sinai had a large Russian population in the clinic system, and most of us had to rely on Russian interpreters to communicate [...]
Personality and Perspectives: Is the Glass half empty or full?
We’ve all heard the question, “Is the glass half empty or half full?” Supposedly, the optimist opts for half full, while pessimists notices only what’s missing.
But in our complex world of so many personality types, is it fair to divide people into just optimists and pessimists?
I would imagine a realist like me [...]
Elderly Drivers: Is It Time To Give Up The Keys?
I am afraid to write this column. Very afraid. Normally in my office, I feel like a rock star! I like my patients and my patients like me.
However, there are times when I go from being Bono of U2 to Janet Jackson at the Super Bowl– times when I have to do the unthinkable: take [...]
Phoning In Prescriptions – ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Blondie sang the great song, “Call Me. ” Even Richard Gere in American Gigolo played that song long before Pretty Woman. Today, with cell phones, *69, and caller-ID, it’s so easy to call your friends, family, mother-in-law, and– your doctor. In fact, it’s too easy.
The phone rings off the hook in most doctors’ offices. [...]
Bladder Infections: Not all pains are UTIs
I’m gullible. I tend to believe people are honest, but as a result I tend to fall for stupid things. For example, I once believed a person who said “gullible” isn’t in the dictionary. I saw a wall mount of a rabbit with six-point antlers and was told it was a “Jack-a-lope.” I wondered [...]
Insomnia: Yawn, give me an Ambien Doc
When I was in college, a hypnotist came to entertain us. I was chosen to go up, and I did– unwillingly. The hypnotist had a Barry White type of voice, and he wooed me a little with his, “You are becoming sleepy. Your eyes are heavy.”
I don’t know about the other contestants on [...]
