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Cholera | Diarrhea that kills

Good vibes? Bad vibes? Don’t we all have a sixth sense at times? The problem is that sometimes we don’t listen to our inner voice. We follow a slick vibe, like investing in Enron or hanging out with people who are more toxic than Love Canal in the ’70s.
I watched a movie with Naomi [...]

Hepatitis B | Liver has never tasted so bad

Chopped liver? When we feel undervalued, we sometimes ask, “What am I– chopped liver?” I don’t think the liver should be referenced as something undervalued, as it’s a vital organ that filters the junk in our blood. (Too bad it doesn’t filter the emotional vomit on today’s blogs and in those with [...]

H1N1 Vaccine | When Pigs Fly

Tyra Banks made quite a spectacle of herself when she wore a bathing suit on her show. She told people who think she’s fat that they can kiss her fat *#^!, and she slapped her heinie. Hell has no fury like a diva scorned.
I don’t know how people can get on a stage, wear high [...]

Cellulitis | Skin infection making skin red and hot

Red is a bold color. You have to be brave to wear an all-red outfit. How many men have you seen wear a red suit, besides The Joker and Elton John?
I wear red ties. I don’t have any red pants or shirts. Shoe colors are “cordovan” or “ox blood,” but not red. Better [...]

Laryngitis | Shhhhh…

STD | Crossing Fingers During Sex Won’t Prevent Catching These Cooties

Sex is such an interesting topic. There are talk shows solely about sex. I remember in ninth grade we had sex education in my little uber-conservative hometown. I was shocked they offered it. Most folks in my hometown believed babies came from a stork. Our very nice physical education teacher did a great job [...]

MRSA | The Grapes of Wrath | Video

MRSA is Methacillian Resistant Staph Aureus, aka Superbug. MRSA is resistant to many antibiotics. MRSA caused over 94,000 life-threatening infections in 2005

The Grapes of Wrath is one of my favorite books of all time. Unbelievably, as slow a reader as I was, I finished the book in three days during my summer vacation [...]

Mumps – More Than Sweet Cheeks

Mumps outbreaks were common in the late winter-early spring. Mumps usually lasts 7-10 days. Mumps in the testicle(s) become swollen, red, and hurt. Mumps starts as flu-like symptoms
Pinching cheeks should be a felony. “Oh, child! You are soooo cute!” Pinch! Ouch! (Note to self: punish lady who just pinched salivary gland out [...]

E. Coli or EEEEK. Coli : The Deadly Type of E. Coli

The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker. When I was growing up in Ohio, there was no butcher shop… or bakery… There was one supermarket with hitching posts in the parking lot for the Amish buggies. My mother would ask the supermarket butcher to thinly slice the beef for Korean BBQ. I never saw [...]

Hand Washing | I’m Going to Wash That Germ Right Out of my Hand

Asians have it right when it comes to greetings. They simply bow– no huggy huggy, kissy kissy, shaky shaky. Okay, I admit I’m a touchy-feely person, so I’m glad I’m not Asian! Psyche!
On the other hand (literally), I don’t like shaking hands. I used to shake hands freely without thought– until one day, when [...]

Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever

Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever (RMSF) is in all the Americas. Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever is common in Southeast. RMSF is from Rickettsia rickettsii

Food Poisoning | Salmonella in Peanut Butter

Food Poisoning | Salmonella in Peanut Butter

Strep Throat

Strep Throat is caused by Group A Streptococcus, Strep throat causes fever. Strep throat causes swollen glands. Strep throat has swollen tonsil. Strep is contagious

Swimmer’s ear

Swimmer’s Ear is otitis externa. Swimmer’s ear occurs 10% Americans. Ears burning might be otitis externa. Swimmer’s ear causes ear pain, itch, hearing loss

Tuberculosis: TB or Not TB

Tuberculosis, TB, might become active two to five percent of people who “catch” TB. MDR-TB is of concern because it is a more deadly form of tuberculosis.

Tetanus

Tetanus is C. tetani, which releases a toxin called tetanospasmin that causes muscles spasm. Tetanus is known to cause lock jaw. Tetanus shots are recommended every 10 years, but every 5 years for dirty cuts and 7 years for clean cuts

Warts

Plantar Warts make the skin grow too rapidly so they look like cauliflower. Plantar warts are from Human Papillomavirus (HPV). Plantar warts can be hard to treat

Tamiflu and Relenza to Treat the Flu

Tamiflu and Relenza to treat the flu

Swine Flu Update 4/30/09

Ok, folks so here is the latest info I have as of 10:30am today. 109 Case of swine flu have been confirmed here in the USA. Arizona 1; California 14; Indiana 1; Kansas 2; Massachusetts 2; Michigan 1; Nevada 1; New York 50; Ohio 1; South Caroling 10; Texas 26. One death has been [...]

West Nile Virus

Those darn mosquitoes!

Swine Flu

Swine Flu? You don’t think of pigs as dangerous creatures. In Charlotte’s Web, Wilber, the friendly pig, was “Some Pig”. His spider friend did everything to save Wilber from becoming bacon. But as of April 27, 2009, the pig has a flu virus that is killing people.
The World [...]

Meningococcal Meningitis – More than a pain in the neck

College is supposed to be the best four years of your life. I don’t think that applies to me. I’m going to my 21st year class reunion (Black Jack!), and yet I still have dreams of going to back to college.
Most folks dream they really haven’t graduated because they didn’t finished a class. In [...]

Tetanus – Don’t Say “Cheese”

“Shut Up!” is What Not to Wear Stacy London’s favorite expression when she’s excited. I wonder when flipping the bird will become a sassy expression? “Shut up! I love what you’re wearing!” [Flip Middle Finger Up].
Don’t get me wrong. I love that show. Shirley Jones’ character in The Partridge Family did “shut up” when [...]

Laryngitis – AAAAaaahhh….umph!

Elton John is the Rocketman. In October, I could “Feel the Love Tonight” when he sang “Your Song” at the JPJ here in Charlottesville.
But how in the world did he sing three hours nonstop without even clearing his throat? With so many rock singers destroying their voices of the years, Sir Elton has been [...]

West Nile Virus

Mosquitoes must serve some purpose in the ecosystem, but I value them as much as much as Courtney Love valued her dead husband’s stolen ashes. (Who loses their spouse’s ashes? I guess it doesn’t matter since Kurt Cobain must be in Nirvana. Also who smokes their father’s ashes… besides Keith Richards?)
Back to the subject, [...]

Avian Flu

The world needs to laugh a little more. Isn’t laughter the best medicine? Elizabeth Taylor sang, “Send in the Clowns” (ouch, bad example!). Okay, Donald O’Connor sang, “Make ‘Em Laugh” in Singing In The Rain. Do comedians use rubber chickens anymore, or am I dating myself to Steve Martin in the ’70s? There’s so [...]

Food Poisoning | Salmonella in Peanut Butter

Poison is such a sneaky way to murder someone. Kings and Queens made servants sample their meals beforehand to ensure they weren’t poisoned. (Something tells me these servants hated buffets.) Though increasingly now it seems like our current food system is accidentally poisoning Americans. I don’t mean to throw tomatoes at the FDA, but [...]

Swimmer’s Ear – Are your ears burning?

“I’m so glad we had this time together….” Sing it, Carol Burnett! I actually have an autographed photo of Carol. She’s funny, vibrant, talented, and very giving. At the end of the show, she would always do her trademark move: the ear tug. Wiggle wiggle wiggle… Goodnight!
But if someone has otitis externa (aka [...]

Lice – A “Lousey” Condition

“I’m hairy noon and night. Hair that’s a fright. I’m hairy high and low. Don’t ask me why. Don’t know” (Hair, the musical).
At my school, Denison University, when we produced Hair, they actually had a nude scene, though the lights were spinning all over the place, and I could tell a bum bum [...]

Syphilis on the Rise

Ice cream–just love it! But I don’t eat a whole lot of it for health reasons. Skiing-exhilarating ! Well, until I tore my ACL and had surgery because a stupid snowman pushed me (I’m sticking with this story). TV-entertaining ! Though after a while I feel like my IQ drops 100 points, and [...]

Plantar Warts – Sarah Jessica Parker Would Not Like

Injuries can be the kiss of death to an athlete. When Nancy Kerrigan got konked on the knee before the Olympics, her scream was the whine heard ’round the world: “Why me? Why me?” (A normal person would have just yelled, “Ow!”) On the other hand, golfer Ben Hogan almost died in a 1949 [...]

One Upping the Common Cold with Medicines

One uppers… don’t you just hate them? They’re people who have to prove their problem is far worse and their lives are far superior to yours.
You: “I’ve been really tired lately because I’ve been working 12 hours a day.”
One Upper: “Ah! I’m exhausted because I’m working 12.5 hours a day, probably have brain [...]

Fungus Amugus: Fungal Skin Infections

Gold medals are gold for a reason. However, my skating coach said to me, “Competing is not about winning a medal. It’s about doing your best.” I replied, “If medals aren’t important, then why are they so shiny?” They aren’t made of tin or stone.
So somehow I came up with the crazy idea to [...]

MRSA – The Grapes of Wrath

The Grapes of Wrath is one of my favorite books of all time. Unbelievably, as slow a reader as I was, I finished the book in three days during my summer vacation after eighth grade. (In Ohio, our school system required that we read only The National Enquirer and Garfield, so my mother made [...]

AIDS 2007

Sheryl Crow sang, “A Change Would Do You Good.” Whether we like it or not, things change. Madonna changes her looks every five seconds. We hope you change your underwear everyday. Change in the pocket is like free money. When a straight couple gets married, he often thinks, “I hope she never changes,” while [...]

Strep Throat – Say, “Ah!” | Strep Throat | Group A Strep

The life insurance business doesn’t make sense to me. Why would a company base earnings on the hope that none of its clients bite the dust? It’s so Russian Roulette. My college buddy works for a major insurance company, so I decided to apply for term life insurance through him. Little did I know that [...]

Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever

John Denver’s songs confuse me because I think they all sound alike. Nature, nature, nature. For example, I thought the lyrics to “Rocky Mountain High” were “Rocky Mountain High, West Virginia,” instead of Colorado. West Virginia is in “Country Roads” (and, yes, I know all the state capitals, but I thought it was poetic [...]

Tuberculosis: TB or Not TB

Nicole Kidman is amazing in The Hours, the role that earned her an Academy Award. From the haunting music of Philip Glass to the fake nose on Kidman, Hours provides a powerful look into the day of a life. I find it ironic that in the movie Meryl Streep (the best actress ever–in [...]

Flu Season 2007: Achoo!

Hypocrisy is as prevalent as all the Starbucks stores. (I think there are Starbucks inside Starbucks– is that a double shot?) I was just driving behind a car plastered with so many pro-USA stickers it looked like tattoos on rocker Tommy Lee. Then somewhere in the collage of pro-USA stickers I saw, “Hyundai.”
Even doctors [...]

Mumps: Hi sweet cheeks —-oooo

Pinching cheeks should be a felony. “Oh, child! You are soooo cute!” Pinch! Ouch! (Note to self: punish lady who just pinched salivary gland out of cheek.)
It isn’t just the pinching that’s the problem. It’s the twisting action that accompanies the pinch. I know some women pinch their own cheeks to make themselves look prettier, [...]

Shingles Vaccine: Zostavax is available

Steve Carell has a hard life. I’m sure he got seasick on the Ark while filming Evan Almighty in Crozet. In his NBC show The Office, he’s as clueless as Alicia Silverstone in Clueless. In Anchorman, he had only three– at best four– brain cells.
But in reality he’s very well educated. He went to [...]

HPV: Kathy Griffin–Please Spread the Word!

Kathy Griffin is a goddess. Yes, move over Venus– Kathy is here! She recently performed at The Paramount– run by the fabulous Chad Hershner– and brought da House down (as Queen Latifah would say).
Kathy has a Bravo network reality show that documents every funny and bold moment of her life as a stand-up comedian and [...]

Traveler’s Diarrhea: don’t get pooped out during vacation

Pharmaceutical representatives, a.k.a. pharm reps, tend to be a bit pushy because they have only seven seconds on average to talk to a doctor. I know you can say a lot in seven seconds because I’ve always been a fast talker, like Charo. On the TV news at NBC29, I usually recite the disease name, [...]

Sinusitis: Nasal Saline can wash away the wohs

Felix Unger from The Odd Couple has a bad rap. C’mon, if you had to live with an ultra slob like Oscar Madison– who probably smells like spoiled Oscar Mayer– versus nice, clean, and responsible Felix with chronic sinus infections, I think the choice is clear. Plus, Felix is a great name. “Hey, Felix! I’m [...]

How NOT to Catch a Cold (or a thief)

I was at the grocery store this weekend, and two women came up to me screaming, “We know you! Yadda yadda yadda!”
They were so funny and friendly that I figured we must know each other. But then “Mr. Uncomfortable” hit me, because I couldn’t figure out who they were. I’m terrible with names, so [...]

Cough Me Up, Scottie!

I have never seen the opera La Boheme, but I hear the diva dies of tuberculosis. Does Mimi sing her final aria with coughing between high C’s: “La, la… cough, cough, laaaaaa-phlegm, laaaaaa, hack”?
I don’t think Puccini would have written his opera that way. It would sound more like the Guys & Dolls song “Adelaide’s [...]

Flu Shots: A Minor Ouch!

Some people beg for the flu shot each October. Others are petrified of getting one. “Last time I got a flu shot, I was sick as a dog. I almost died!” they say. (I always wondered why we say “sick as a dog” because my dogs have always been healthy.)
I try to convince my [...]

Avian Flu: A Virus That Flu Over this year

The world needs to laugh a little more. Isn’t laughter the best medicine? Elizabeth Taylor sang, “Send in the Clowns” (ouch, bad example!). Okay, Donald O’Connor sang, “Make ‘Em Laugh” in Singing In The Rain. Do comedians use rubber chickens anymore, or am I dating myself to Steve Martin in the ’70s? There’s so much [...]

Hospital Infections: Cooties you don’t want from the hospital

I remember in elementary school, kids would touch each other to spread cooties. However, if you crossed your fingers, you were immune. Once I was tapped with cooties, and I immediately touched a girl and said, “You’ve got cooties!” She smiled confidently, marked herself with an imaginary “X,” and said, “I’m cootie-proof.” Hmm… Do cooties [...]

No Glove, No Love: Safe Sex

I’m not really that educated in sports such as baseball. At the gym I once saw a man wearing funky shoes that made him walk on his tiptoes. I asked him why he was wearing those shoes, and he said, “To strengthen my calves. I’m a professional ball player.”
“What kind of ball?” I [...]

Mono: Not Mona Lisa

Growing up, I wasn’t encouraged to listen to rock-n-roll or pop music. Before my mother became a physician, she sang opera, so I was exposed to classical music, jazz, and show tunes. (Ask my patients. If they leave after a visit without hearing me sing something, I often get a frowny face. But then again, [...]

Ticks: don’t be ticked off – get the ticks off of you!

There are many different types of ticks.
“Tick-tock of the lonely clock.” “The old ticker is still working though my spouse is going to give me a heart attack!” “Don’t tick me off; I’m off my antidepressant.” “Your breath smells; here’s a Tic-Tac.” “Everyone now and then gets a little tic under the eye [...]

Rabies: bite is worse than the bark

Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck had some great adventures.
“It’s Duck season!” “It’s Wabbit season!” “It’s Wabbit season!” “It’s Duck season, Fire!!” Boom!
Remember when they entered Aladdin’s cave and found enough jewelry to make Joan Rivers have a seizure?
Daffy said, “It’s all mine, mine, mine! I’m rich and happy!” But could you imagine if [...]

Yeast Infections: Save yeast for bread instead

I love musicals. I know every Rodgers and Hammerstein musical and every obscure song they wrote. If you ever hear me sing Karaoke, you will know what I mean. “I can name and sing that song in 4 notes…”
However, I don’t know enough musicals– like Candide– by one of my favorite composers, Leonard Bernstein. Would [...]

Herpes: is not a Greek god

When I was a freshman in college, my fellow pre-med friend, George, pointed at my face and laughed. I asked him what was so funny. He chanted, “You’ve got a herpes, you’ve got a herpes…” and did a funny bunny-like dance.
The classroom erupted in laughter as I defended myself, “It’s a zit!” (This [...]

Pill power: Keflex not quick cold fix

I grew up with two physicians as parents. In our cupboards, instead of Toll House cookie mix, we had medications: antihistamines, blood pressure pills, cholesterol busters, and antibiotics– lots of antibiotics.
Face it, parents. If you put pills in the kitchen cupboard, your child is going to take them. Because my parents gave me a [...]